


Our Parents Suck, But You Certainly Don’t. Do You Wanna Go Camping With Me?

by pinky_toe



Category: South Park
Genre: Camping, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Randy Being Randy, Shit Parenting, Thunderstorms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21776950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinky_toe/pseuds/pinky_toe
Summary: “H-hey Kyle?” said Stan, looking up at Kyle, his face wet, “Do you. Do you think we will always be best friends?”Kyle smiled, “Of course dude. Hey, remember when we called each other Super Best Friends? After you saved my life from that cult?”~~~10 year old Stan and Kyle get lost in the woods, giving them the perfect time to reconnect and hate on their parents.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski & Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Comments: 2
Kudos: 87





	Our Parents Suck, But You Certainly Don’t. Do You Wanna Go Camping With Me?

“Hey dude,” said Stan, turning to face Kyle, his clothes soaked by the pouring rain. “Where the fuck are we?”

Kyle shrugged, “I don’t know, I was just following you.”

“What! Dude, I don’t know where to go, I thought you knew!” 

“Well, obviously I don’t know, because if I did, we would be safe in our tent at camp, not freezing in the pouring rain, completely lost in the forest.” said Kyle, pointing an accusing finger at Stan.

Stan grunted, and turned around to face the trail that they were following. He was originally following his uncles footsteps, but they had long turned to mud by the rain, so he just had to guess that they were going the right way.

They were soaked to the bone, completely lost in the forest, and without reception. Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, of course this would happen, you can’t live in South Park without something fucking up.

He started to walk on the trail they were following, pulling his soaked puffball hat down further onto his head, trying to keep his hair as dry as possible. “C’mon dude, lets just see where this trail goes.”

He heard Kyle sigh, and soon his footsteps could be heard behind him. “How long have we been walking? It feels like it’s been hours since we lost sight of your uncle. I’d check myself, but my phone’s dead.” 

Stan took out his phone, and winced as he saw that his phone only had 17% left. Wiping away the droplets that already covered his phones screen, he saw that it was 3:46pm, which meant that they had been lost for about an hour.

“It’s nearly 3:50 dude, surely they’ve sent someone out to find us? I mean, my dad’s stupid, but not that stupid. He wouldn’t just leave us to die. Right?”

Kyle groaned, “Who even knows anymore, your dad is so stupid that he probably wouldn’t even think, before lighting up a joint and being useless. Your uncle isn’t too bad though, so maybe he’d help?”

“Uncle Jimbo’s alright, I’m sure he’d try to find us.” said Stan.

Kyle didn’t respond after that, and so they walked in silence, boots squelching in the mud. The rain started to get harder, and a bright flash of lighting struck through the clouds, following quickly with a loud rumble of thunder. Kyle screamed in terror, and grabbed Stan’s arm, his nails digging into his sleeve. 

“Kyle?” Stan asked, turning to face him, “You alright?”

Kyle stood still, eyes wide and face white, quickly shaking his head. He screamed as another bright flash and loud rumble struck from the sky. “T-thunder storms.” he said, lip trembling. 

“Oh! C’mon, let’s get you undercover.” said Stan, taking Kyle’s hand and leading him towards a large tree with thick branches. As long as Stan could remember, Kyle had been terrified of thunderstorms. If one happened in class, Kyle would pretend to be ok, but Stan would never miss the look of brief terror on his face as another crash of thunder sounded outside the school. One night, at a sleepover when they were both 4 years old, a thunderstorm had been brewing. Kyle had looked outside the window at the dark grey clouds, and made terrified noises, shaking his head. That night, the thunderstorm had begun, and Kyle would squeak and hide under the covers when the thunder could be heard. Stan remembers soundlessly leaving his sleeping bag and getting off of the floor, before joining Kyle under the covers. Kyle had clung to Stan almost immediately, and this still hadn’t changed. 

Sitting down against the tree, Kyle clung to Stan and looked out at the rain, trying not to seem too terrified. When the thunder crashed, Kyle just whimpered and clung to Stan tighter, seemingly resisting the urge to bury his head in Stan’s shoulder. 

Stan just sighed, and moved Kyle’s head so that it was nestled in between his shoulder and his neck. Kyle moaned appreciatively, and seemed to relax a bit, before immediately tensing when another clap of thunder came. Unsurely, Stan reached over and rubbed Kyle’s back, trying to relax him. He quickly tensed, before relaxing and breathing deeply. 

Stan had always found the rain to be quite relaxing, and thunderstorms were always appreciated, as the loud crashing of the thunder would momentarily block out his parent’s arguments. Kyle had never liked the rain, finding it inconvenient and scary when a thunderstorm started. Stan was always expected to help comfort Kyle, which he did without complaint.

Continuing to rub Kyle’s back, Stan took out his phone again, seeing that his phone had dropped in percent, but had miraculously found a small amount of signal.

Quickly going into the chat he had with his mom, he texted her a small message of: ‘sos kyle and i are lost in the woods pls help’, before trying to call her. Sharon had decided not to go on the camping trip, something that Stan had been disappointed with, until now. 4 rings in, Stan was getting worried that she wouldn’t pick up, but his worries were quelled when she answered.

“Stan, honey, I’m trying to get ready, what’s wrong?”

“Mom! We got lost, Kyle’s scared of the thunderstorm and we don’t know where Dad or Jimbo went. We got lost when I had to take a toilet break, and I guess Dad didn’t wait for us? And they just kinda walked off? I don’t think they are looking for us, maybe Jimbo? But he was pretty drunk when we left, so, yeah.” said Stan, glaring off into space. 

“Oh, I’m sorry baby. I told your dad to keep an eye out for you two, but I guess he can’t even do that right. Do you have any idea where you are?”

“Kinda? We’ve been lost for nearly an hour, and have been walking down this path until the storm started. Can you get someone to help find us?” 

“I’ll try sweetie, but I’m an hour away from South Park, and it’s incredibly wet. Can’t you just wait until the storm stops?”

“What! No! We are gonna die of pneumonia if you don’t get someone!”

Stan heard Sharon sigh, “I’ll try sweetie, but until someone can come, stay still and keep each other warm, I have an appointment at the salon. See you sweetie.”

“What! Mom-“ yelled Stan, before he heard Sharon end the call. 

Stan groaned and had to stop himself from throwing his phone into the rain. Kyle groggily sat up, and looked at Stan, briefly wincing when another clap of thunder could be heard. “So,” Kyle started, “Is she gonna help us?”

Stan sighed, and shook his head. “No. She isn’t.”

Kyle sat up straighter and looked out at the muddy trail, rain still bucketing down, with an unreadable expression. “It seems like all the adults suck in this town, huh. First Kenny’s dad, then Butters’ dad, then yours and mine. Apparently even Clyde’s dad is becoming a dick. I, I thought my mom was better than that, but. The other day, Ike got an amazing score and can graduate to first grade immediately, and instead of being excited, my mom just said ‘That’s good, I’d go to the graduation, but I have a brunch that day.’ Like what! What the fuck mom.”

“Yeah, I know right! My mom used to be so caring and-.” Stan stopped talking, taking a deep breath. “She used to actually care about me. Well, ever since I got shot, she just doesn’t give a shit. I used to think that she was overreacting, but now that she’s just as numb as everyone else? I prefer how she used to be. Without the farm, without the weed, without-.” Stan stopped again, wiping his damp eyes. “Without my dad.”

Stan started crying, and Kyle pulled him into a hug, “Hey, hey, it’s gonna be ok dude.” Kyle consoled, “All we have to do is get through eight more years and then-.” Kyle stopped to flinch as more thunder came, tightening his grip on Stan before continuing, “And then we’re free. Free to do whatever we want. We can be roommates, going to collage and having fun. We can get as far away from South Park as we can, and you won’t ever have to hear about Tegrity Farms again. Doesn’t that sound great?”

Stan sniffled, nuzzling his head further into Kyle’s shoulder, and nodded his head. “Y-yeah. That sounds great.” 

They stayed like that, listening to the thunderstorm and the sounds of the forest. Stan silently crying, while Kyle comforted him, whispering about their futures. 

“H-hey Kyle?” said Stan, looking up at Kyle, his face wet, “Do you. Do you think we will always be best friends?”

Kyle smiled, “Of course dude. Hey, remember when we called each other Super Best Friends? After you saved my life from that cult?” 

“Yeah. Why did we stop calling each other that?”

“I don’t know. Do you wanna call each other that again?”

“Sure. That sounds nice.” mumbled Stan, Kyle’s comforting presence making Stan drowsy. 

Stan fell asleep, dreaming of him and Kyle becoming the new Super Best Friends, fighting crime and saving the day. In the dream, they held auditions for people to join their group, but in the end they hired nobody, as no one could match the sheer power of their friendship. 

~~~

When Stan woke up, it was dark, the rain long gone, and through his foggy haze, he could hear Kyle yelling. Instantly sitting up, he realised that Kyle was yelling at Stan’s uncle. Jimbo looked incredibly upset and relieved, constantly wiping his brow, with his hands flexing at his sides, not knowing what to do. 

Jimbo averted his eyes when Kyle’s yelling began to border on screaming, and he noticed that Stan was awake. He quickly rushed over to him, seemingly ignoring Kyle at this point. “Stanley! Oh sweet Jesus! You’re alright!”

Stan blinked groggily, “Yeah, I’m ok. How long were we lost?”

“Oh, you were lost about three hours, but I went to go fin-.”

“He didn’t go out and find us! He smoked your dad’s weed and tried to go shooting for animals, and he only found us because he nearly shot me!” interrupted Kyle, running over to Stan’s side and glowering at Jimbo.

Stan looked at Jimbo warily, and noticed that his eyes looked incredibly red, and his body smelled like the farm Stan lived on, skunk-like and definitely weed. Stan snarled and scooted further away from Jimbo and closer to Kyle. 

“Hey!” came Jimbo’s delayed reaction, “You kids survived, didn’t you? So all’s well that ends well, huh. Let’s go back to the camp, your dinner’s getting cold I’m sure.”

Jimbo stood up and started to go down the trail, beckoning Kyle and Stan to follow. Kyle let out an annoyed grunt, but stood up. He extended his hand to Stan, and pulled him up when he accepted the offer. 

Walking back down the trail, Stan listened to Kyle very obviously ranting about how long they were lost. Instead of watching Kyle’s face when talking, he watched his hands, looking at them clench angrily into fists. Stan felt a strange new urge to hold them, and he shoved his hands into his pockets before he did.

The camp was quite large, with three tents and a big fold out table with playing cards and cold soup laid out on it. Randy was smoking a joint and shuffling old Uno cards, sitting on one of the four foldout chairs they brought.

When Jimbo announced their arrival, Randy looked up, muttered a simple ‘Hey Stan’ before going back to his cards. Stan held back a growl, immensely offended on behalf of Kyle, who Randy seemed to have completely ignored. Instead, he just sat down and requested that their soup be warmed up, which Jimbo did, not without nearly burning down the entire camp though.

They played Uno after dinner, and Stan and Kyle played strategically, only playing Draw 4’s when they could attack Randy or Jimbo. Randy sent them both to sleep early when he lost for the 4th time in a row, with the complaint that “Everyone should get off of my dick! God!”, which both boys ignored. 

They laid in their sleeping bags, with the small tent leaving very little room between them. Randy and Jimbo were playing some card game with a German name outside, and they both whispered to each other, laughing quietly whenever Randy seemed to have lost the game again. 

At about 1 am, Kyle started to drift off, mumbling in his sleep about being Super Best Friends forever. Stan wasn’t tired enough to sleep, as the nap he had earlier gave him too much energy. So instead, he just watched Kyle sleep, smiling when Kyle moved and his ushanka fell off, revealing his red curls. 

‘Just eight more years,’ Stan thought to himself, ‘Just eight more years before we can finally get out of this town.’

Stan fell asleep happy, looking forward to the future.


End file.
